Come Hither...And Let Me Supersize You

McGothika

Two goth-beast tatties (that's me and you)
Special sauce (no need to explain)
Let us please
Tickles, Fun times
As you spank on my buns

I'm lovin' it!

High-Flying Heartthrob

Rutherford

I fly through the air with the greatest of ease!

SWM seeks Gal with strong heart for

high-flying fun! I aim to break the World Record for

the longest kiss while in a tandem skydive, and

am in need of a lady to help me make that

dream a reality! If you are pregnant, suffer from

high blood pressure, heart disease, high cholesterol, or

in general do not take good care of yourself, I'm not

the guy for you. I take pride in my health and appearance,

and expect my partner to do the same.

I'm waiting to fall for you, Lady!

Give me a call!

My Spidey Senses Are Tingling...

Phil

I'm looking for that special sidekick.

The right woman for me will be

socially conservative, community-service minded,

and preferably, an entomologist.

I prefer redheads, but am not a sizist.

Some nights, I will be out

ridding our city of crime, but you are welcome

to assist, because, let's face it, females of the

species are frequently stronger and tougher.

(ie. Black Widows)

If you are up to the task, I look forward to cuddling you in my web,

and giving you upside down kisses (with or without mask).

All replies will be answered.

Some Like It Wet...

Danny

Single Wet Male Seeks Single Wet Female.

Do you love the feeling of dampness against your skin?

Do you feel most comfortable when moist?

I'm seeking a partner for clothed, aquatic adventures...

Snorkeling in our skivvies,

Hot Tubbing in Haute Couture...

You don't have to take your clothes off

to have a good time...

Call me. (wink)

We Can Share Everything, Even Underwear

Steve!






Hello out there! Hi? Hello? Check, check! Is this thing on? Oh, ok, there we go! Hello, Ladies! Don't let my looks fool you. I am a professional (well, sort of) actor who would love to bring you into my world. You can be front row as I star in such off-Broadway hits as my writing/starring debut in "FAB-a-ret"(a really meaningful and in-depth look at the world of drag in Nazi Germany...shown here). We can play "papparazzi" while you chase me around your place or mine trying to get my picture. (Don't worry, I'll let you catch me, CLICK!)Best of all, being with me (because I'm an actor) is like getting to be with several different men. My
versatility and range will AMAZE you. You'll never be bored again, Babe.
So what are you waiting for? Call now.
PS Fellow artistes favored. No desperate screenwriters. My talent is not a whore.

Dial FFF for Full Figure Fox

Fanny
Flirtatious, feisty, fabulous, friendly...

If you feel like finding a fresh female, but fear failure,

forget it! Fanny's here!

I'm a forthright fox who feels fantastic on a

faux fur in front of the fire.

We can play footsie, go folkdancing,

or we can frolic in fondue in flagrante...

Let's flaunt our flights of fancy!

No Fetishists or Freeloaders.

? Donde es mi amor?

Juan

AI-AI-AI-AIEEEEEEE

Buenas Dias, Senoritas! I am Juan.

I will sing for you...

(Imagine while I strum my guitar...)

You are lovely, Senorita,

I will buy you margarita.

We will samba all the night,

How you fill me with delight.

Ah, yes, Senorita, mi corazon is all for you.

Please reply if you are marriage-minded,

and have hips that can give me many ninos y ninas

who can join me in my mariachi traditiones...

No putas or cabronas, por favor.

Good Things Come in Tiny Packages

Roy


I tend to go on a lot of first dates. My mom says I'm a really good-looking and sweet boy, and Mom's always right, right? I have a lot of allergies, so I never get to go outside, so if things like hiking, camping, fresh air, and sunlight are important to you, we're probably not a match. I like to be upfront with people, so I feel you should know that I always have to have an Epi-pen on me in case I come into contact with shellfish or peanuts or wheat or anything like that, but I've only had to use it twice this month, so it's not like it's a huge problem or anything. Also, if you have kids or pets, we probably won't work out. I have a lot of collections, and they are NOT TOYS! Kids and dogs don't seem to understand that. Anyway, hope to hear from you!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Roger


Greetings from the North! This short, but sweet SWM is looking for the
perfect SWF to share the really, really, (incredibly) long winter nights. Sure,
I may be only three feet tall, but I've got size where it matters...my heart! The lady of my dreams will be similar in height to myself, and will be loving, and ambitious! I'm
looking for a lasting relationship...no brief, casual flings. As I am currently leading a hostile take over bid here at the North Pole, my perfect woman will understand that I may be late getting home some nights. If my bid succeeds, she must be prepared for her role as the new Santa's wife. In this role, she will need to be an outstanding baker, with skills in beard trimming and animal husbandry, as well. She must also be able to entertain herself on those long, lonely Christmas Eve nights. Plus, a nice rack wouldn't hurt.
Please call.

Let Me Squeeze You!

Louise



AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!! I'm de Cajun 'Coon you'll loveta spoon! Dey call me Louise de Squeeze 'cuz I play de squeeze box, I do! I'm looking for me a Boo, and I'm ahopin' it be you! If you dink you can handle my fais do do, laissez les bon temps rouler! I'm done wid all yon bon rein, so don't even tryta come dis way, ya hear?

Smile and Say Cheeeeezzzzzeeee!

Johnny

I don't know about all of you lovely ladies, but I am ready to PAR-TAY! For one, I just want to say that I LOVE to travel, collect free totebags from timeshare presentations, and take pictures. (Perhaps I could get a few tasteful black and whites of you???) But don't get me wrong, it's not all fun and games for me. I know when to face forward and get to business and I know when to let my hair down and have a good time! Like my hairdresser always says, I'm one of a kind!

Need You For Romance and Make Music

Takeshito
This is picture of me, Takeshito, when I play my favorite band
instrument. This is invisible guitar. Sometime call "Air Guitar" in U. S. of A.
My musical influence include Kiss, Ratt, and Poison. Also Bon Jovi very good.
If you like make music with me, I am searching long time for partner, one who play
invisible drum. If you play invisible drum, but not invisible horn, or invisible
sing, you call me, please. I like to make nice music with you in band, and also in heart.

Pussycat, Pussycat...

Denny
Calling all Cat lovers! Are you looking for the purr-fect companion?
Then look no further! I'm the one! I will never "paws" in my efforts to keep
you feeling frisky. Whether you're like a shy, fluffy lap kitty who wants to knead
my whiskers, a playful, little kitten who wants to swat some balls around the
house, or a regular little wildcat who likes to bring out her claws, I have just one
thing to say, "MEOW!" Must be financially independent and willing to wear kitty ears,
and stilettos at all times. E-mail me!

Take My Breath Away!

Billie
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan,
and never, never, never let you forget you're a man/woman.
I borrowed those lines b/c I just can't get any closer to what
you'll get from me. I'm a SHM, bi-curious, looking for that perfect
boy/girl to take care of. Jessica Simpson is my idol, (loved you on MTV, Girl),
and I like nothing better than to sing one of her haunting melodies as I
cook and clean for my man/woman. If you're looking for a little songbird
who will prepare home-cooked meals, and keep a spotless house, then I'm
so perfect for you! Let's talk!

Brah!

Mitch
Dude like I'm really into like this online dating and junk, brah. Like some of these honeys are like fly and junk. So, 'bout me. I like gotta a job job, ya know 'cuz Steven's dad at the bank and stuff like got me a job job and junk so, you bring the weed and I'll bring the brew. Righteous!

It's Gettin' Hot in Herre...

Paul
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen, Baby! For the women who can,
I'm a Leo who enjoys animal prints, and Geisha footwear. I also love
sports, and play Quarterback for the LA Leopards of the National Professional
Urban Riot Football Association. This is a shot of me in action during the LA Race Riots.
We took that game 34-0! Sweet! So if you want a winner who knows
how to keep his cool when things heat up, then I'm your guy!

More Than Just a Pretty Face

Elise
Hello! I am a young professional that is looking to meet someone who can appreciate all I have to offer. I don't know why, but I always seem to pick up the wrong kind of guys. I thought taking time to screen potential dates online might allow me to lift and separate the good guys from the riff-raff. If you are looking for a conservative, slightly shy girl who likes to take things slow, please contact me.

Athlete in My Prime!

Pat
I'm looking for someone to not only be my lover but to also be my workout partner and #1 cheerleader. I enjoy running, swimming, and cycling. I am currently in training for my first (but certainly not my last) triathlon. If you are seriously into fitness and looking good, then let's hit the field, coach. (Sorry, but please no fatties!)

Hot Wheels!

Mad Dog
Hey all you hot Cycle Mamas out there!
If you're looking for a ride, I'm your Big Daddy!
I'm a Libra with a passion for chrome, Tom Petty,
and your good home cookin'. So if you're lookin' to ride,
come and hop on the back of my bike, Little Mama.
No smokers. Height-Weight Proportional only.

I'm a Keeper!

DUANE
If you're looking for a good time, how about droppin' me a line?
Ch-check it out while I throw you the bait,
I got what it takes to be a good mate.
I love to fish with my bare hands,
And I like the ocean better than dry lands.
So listen to my little profile rap...
Then sit that booty down on my naked lap!
Yo, Girl. Come and get some of this!

Beam Me Up, Scotty!

Hildy
Greetings Earthlings! I come in peace! I'm just here for awhile, visiting from the Alpha Quadrant on my way to Qo'Nos, but I figure while I'm here I should take a stab at this online dating stuff. When in Rome do as the Romulans do! I'm a real species person and get along with most everyone (except the Ferengi, but really, who DOES get along with the Ferengi?!?!?!) Send me a line or use your telepathic talents if you want to hook up! bljeghbe'chug vaj blHegh!

One Hot Tamale!!!

Blaise

I'm a regular firecracker, that's for sure! It must be the red hair! My friends and family say I'm a foodie! I was trained at the world famous Cordon Bleu in Paris. Some of my specialities include lamb shish-ka-bobs and creme brulee. I'd love to light your fire!

I Got Love In My Sights!

George
I think the word that best describes me is "Subtle".
I like soft kisses, and LOTS of eye contact.
Check this out:
Double takes when you're looking especially fine,
Soul searching gazes,
even flirtatious glances across a crowded room.
So if you believe in that like I do, then we see
eye-to-eye.
Holla.

Your Queen of the Ocean.

ISIS (except during High Tide, when I go by Atlantica.)
Hi there, I'm a flowing, water loving Pisces who's looking for a soulmate.
My hobbies include bellydance, snorkeling, and creating poses based on Ancient
Egyptian Heiroglyphics all at the same time because I am just that interesting.
Anyone who wants to dive into my ocean should be well-groomed, drug and alcohol
free except during the solstices, and should worship at the sacred altar of Ra.
Please no time wasters.

Curly Top!

Dimples

I can assure you that there's more to me than meets the eye! I'll admit it; I'm looking for a father figure who'll let me sit in his lap and give me a good swat on the fanny when I've been bad! (And boy can I be oh, so BAD!!!!) Fun, fabulous, and very discreet! Email me! You won't be sorry you did!

The Iceman...well, you know.

Mr. Freeze
Hi there. I'm a Capricorn who enjoys ice-fishing, ice-skating,
and am a proud, active member of the Polar Bear Arctic Swim Team.
I'm looking for a SWF who enjoys the great outdoors, especially during
the months of December, January, and February. Bold adventures
await the lucky woman who can melt my heart, and my beard.

Let Me Tickle Your Tonsils!

Fred
Girl,
Dig if you will the picture of you and I engaged in a kiss.
Now, I know those aren't my words, but that's how I
see you and me right now. A softly lit room, candles burning,
the aroma of love in the air. Me and you on a lion skin rug. I reach out
to take you in my arms. Givin' you a passionate kiss like you ain't
never had before, Girl, as my hands rub up and down your back, in a
sexy caress. I'm a offer it to you like this, Girl. You know you want it.
Give me a call so we can hook up.

Man Of Few Words

Harvey
With me, everything is black or white! I am looking for someone expressive. I am looking for someone that can read me. I am looking for someone who doesn't mind if I sometimes forget about your personal space. Face-to-face meetings are best for me as I sometimes have a difficult time getting my message across on the phone. Drop me a line!

Could You Be My Witchy Woman?

BOB
I've been all around the world looking for you, Chu KAH
(Witch Doctor word for Sweetheart.)
And I have a piercing from each location to prove it.
As one of the few practicing caucasian witch doctors in the
world, I'm frequently asked for my expert opinion on how
to bind that special someone to you with spells and rituals.
I can only respond, out of a romantic heart, that the only
way to do so is to sacrifice a virgin hen at 3:33 AM by the side
of a crocodile nest during a high tide and blue moon. I will do this
for you anytime, Baby. Provided you call before the next blue moon.
Give me a chance to shake my stick at you! Call me.

Snakes. You like, yes?

ANA

SAF looking for SAM to make good marriage for make my parents' pleasure.

I am try to find good man who knows what he like. He like snake, yes? For this

good man, I will show him my very happy snake dance. I will show him happy

snake dance with his snake, so that his snake may also make pleasure. I am very

good cook, and this good man who love me will make long life with peaceful happenings.

Thank you.

Strong, but Tender, so CALL ME NOW YOU $@#$^ BITCH!

MONTY
Are you looking for a true gentlemen who loves
nothing more than to snuggle with you like a little
bunny rabbit? Well, I won't lie, there's one thing I love more
and that's PROTEIN shakes! What the fuck did you
think I was talking about, you Cow? STEROIDS? HUH?
I DON'T FUCKIN' DO 'ROIDS!! But where was I?
I'm looking for a SWF to cuddle. I even watch chick
flicks...Seriously. What, you don't believe me? Well, FUCK YOU
THEN, YOU STUPID C***.
Please give me a try. I'll treat you like the princess you are.

I am not a crook!

DICK

I'm a political professional, who just moved to the area, and boy do I have some stories for you!!! My friends would say I'm pretty easy-going, for an up-tight stick in the mud. I'm up for just about anything, but I tend to remember almost nothing (as the depositions proved). I have a good sense of humor and am funny. I enjoy going out and having a good time. I'm not looking for anything serious, but if something else happens, it will happen - only time will tell. I am an honest person (no really, I am. I promise!) and would want the same honesty from the person I am with as I hate liars, cheats, thieves, and above all else, snitches! I would also want the person to have a good sense of humor and be positive towards life. Yep, that's about it. Oh and I would need her to be able to keep a secret, ya know? I mean just in case. You can never be too careful.

Savage Soul Seeks Same

Marcus

SWM looking for "girl next door" to take home to Mom. I am an Aries who enjoys long walks on the beach and biting the heads off bats. If you're interested, drop me a line. As I only come out of my coffin at night, be sure to check your email first thing in the morning for a reply! I look forward to hearing from you. Don't be afraid to give it a try.