? Donde es mi amor?

Juan

AI-AI-AI-AIEEEEEEE

Buenas Dias, Senoritas! I am Juan.

I will sing for you...

(Imagine while I strum my guitar...)

You are lovely, Senorita,

I will buy you margarita.

We will samba all the night,

How you fill me with delight.

Ah, yes, Senorita, mi corazon is all for you.

Please reply if you are marriage-minded,

and have hips that can give me many ninos y ninas

who can join me in my mariachi traditiones...

No putas or cabronas, por favor.

Good Things Come in Tiny Packages

Roy


I tend to go on a lot of first dates. My mom says I'm a really good-looking and sweet boy, and Mom's always right, right? I have a lot of allergies, so I never get to go outside, so if things like hiking, camping, fresh air, and sunlight are important to you, we're probably not a match. I like to be upfront with people, so I feel you should know that I always have to have an Epi-pen on me in case I come into contact with shellfish or peanuts or wheat or anything like that, but I've only had to use it twice this month, so it's not like it's a huge problem or anything. Also, if you have kids or pets, we probably won't work out. I have a lot of collections, and they are NOT TOYS! Kids and dogs don't seem to understand that. Anyway, hope to hear from you!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Roger


Greetings from the North! This short, but sweet SWM is looking for the
perfect SWF to share the really, really, (incredibly) long winter nights. Sure,
I may be only three feet tall, but I've got size where it matters...my heart! The lady of my dreams will be similar in height to myself, and will be loving, and ambitious! I'm
looking for a lasting relationship...no brief, casual flings. As I am currently leading a hostile take over bid here at the North Pole, my perfect woman will understand that I may be late getting home some nights. If my bid succeeds, she must be prepared for her role as the new Santa's wife. In this role, she will need to be an outstanding baker, with skills in beard trimming and animal husbandry, as well. She must also be able to entertain herself on those long, lonely Christmas Eve nights. Plus, a nice rack wouldn't hurt.
Please call.

Let Me Squeeze You!

Louise



AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!! I'm de Cajun 'Coon you'll loveta spoon! Dey call me Louise de Squeeze 'cuz I play de squeeze box, I do! I'm looking for me a Boo, and I'm ahopin' it be you! If you dink you can handle my fais do do, laissez les bon temps rouler! I'm done wid all yon bon rein, so don't even tryta come dis way, ya hear?